" Our Children Ozzy (Rexy), Clarke (Mine), Charlie Girl (Min)
Rexy, Mindy and Myself
Clark LOVED riding the Ponies that cost me $5.00
Clark telling Charlie all about his "TinkaBell" (jingle bell)
Charlie Girl in her New Christmas Dress(All photos from the Downtown Christmas)
The last few weeks have been pretty rocky for me. Most of you know that the Hubs is away "Saving the World" and Clark and I are here in Alabama with my parents. Living with my parents has been great, but with some challenges. They are a huge help with my little man, and what's even better is that the little man absolutely adores them both. That being said, they are part of the reason that I am still almost sane.
I spent Thanksgiving week in Florida with the Hub's family, while it was very refreshing to get away to give Grammy and BoBo a break it was still one of the hardest times I've yet to face during this deployment. The ENTIRE family was there, except the Hubs, that was very hard for me and for Clark as well. Clark couldn't understand why his Daddy wasn't there with us. He kept looking at Hub's photo and asking "Where my daddy?" We always sleep in the Hubs old bedroom, but this time I had to sleep in the sewing room in a twin sized bed and Clark on an air matress :-(. Everything kept reminding me that he was gone. It was one of the worse feelings I've felt in a long time. I became a recluse once majority of the family arrived. When Clark slept, I slept. When Clark wanted to lay on the bed and watch t.v. I laid in the bed and read. I kept to myself alot, or atleast I tried to. You know some one told me that it's better to keep yourself busy, but with everything like a constant reminder it was impossible for me. Believe it or not, I was glad to leave to come home on Sunday. I loved being with the Family, don't get me wrong, but I was ready to come back to my comfort zone.
YES GOD, I KNOW YOU'VE CALLED US TO STEP OUT OF OUR COMFORT ZONES, BUT NOT RIGHT NOW....PLEASE.
I've spent the last 2 1/2 weeks really getting serious about my Christmas shopping. I had to get the Hubs gifts in the mail to him by last Thursday in order for them to arrive to the "Sandbox" on time. I got him some really nice gifts and spoiled him in a way that he'll always remember, or at least I hope so. I spent much more money than I intended, but I think that it's of vital importance that Wes experience Christmas in a way that will bring him just a little peice of home. Clark and I are very excitied to see Daddy open up his gifts on Christmas Day. Hopefully Santa will be as good to Clark as he's going to be to his Daddy :-) Trust me when I say NEITHER of my boys will do without, although Clark is still having a small Christmas (Remember NEXT year we're going all out when Daddy gets HOME!!!).
The Christmas season in general has already began to prove itself as an emotional time for me. Now I must remind you I'm not a cry baby. I don't cry easily. It takes a lot to make me flow like a waterfall, but I've found myself on more than one occassion already in tears over something so simple. Here are a few examples...
1. I was packing Wesley's box up in the Target parking lot last Monday. I had just spent $50.00 on stocking stuffers and I couldn't get them all to fit in the stocking and then get the stocking to fit in the box properly. I had already packed the box to the max leaving only enough room for the stocking and it's content, or so I thought. Now friends, this was in no means a small box, but I just couldn't make it happen. I finally just sat down in the back of the truck and cried. Clark sitting in the cart looking at his momma like she was crazy. I can hear him thinking "Mom just get a bigger box, or send a 2nd one." Well, honestly I wasn't thinking either of those thoughts. I wanted it ALL in one box no exceptions. Needless to say we sent one box on Tuesday that weighed 26 pounds and I'm sending another Flat Rate box this week with the stuff that wouldn't fit plus a few more extra's. It's all good now :-).
2. In the madness of packing the box at Target on Monday I forgot to send the Hubs a Christmas Card. I ventured out to Wal-Mart at 8 a.m. yesterday in search for THE perfect Card. There on the Christmas Card aisle at Wal-Mart I had a meltdown. They don't make a Christmas Cards for deployed spouses. How crazy is that? Yes, I guess I could have just made him one, but that would be too much work for me. EVERY card I picked up said something about being together, cudddling together, kissing under the misltoe, spending Christmas together, etc. It made me crazy. I know I must have read 50 cards before I found one that was semi- appropriate. It was a beautiful card, but still not as appropriate for our situation as I wish I could have been. I'm kind of a card geek. I have a box I keep cards in for every occassion. If I see one that I really like and know that I will eventually use I buy it. I know the card section inside and out in Wal-Mart, Target and Hallmark. Wes has probably recieved "the perfect card" more times than he can count, 100 or MORE in our 5 years of being together. BUT this time I couldn't find "the perfect card." Enough to make this woman Nuts.
So 2 meltdown's down, and who knows how many more to come. Hopefully not to many more. I can deal with the big one on Christmas Day because I know it's coming. I'm hoping that between now and then I can prepare myself enough that maybe, just maybe it will pass me right on by.
You think I'll be that lucky?
Final's are this week (I'm taking 4 Test) and this is my last week of teaching at the KSD until Jan 5th. Clark has preschool this week and then we'll be resting up for Christmas, our trip to Gainesville again, a New Year, and more importantly the countdown to Daddy coming home for his Rest and Relaxation :-).
The Christmas season in general has already began to prove itself as an emotional time for me. Now I must remind you I'm not a cry baby. I don't cry easily. It takes a lot to make me flow like a waterfall, but I've found myself on more than one occassion already in tears over something so simple. Here are a few examples...
1. I was packing Wesley's box up in the Target parking lot last Monday. I had just spent $50.00 on stocking stuffers and I couldn't get them all to fit in the stocking and then get the stocking to fit in the box properly. I had already packed the box to the max leaving only enough room for the stocking and it's content, or so I thought. Now friends, this was in no means a small box, but I just couldn't make it happen. I finally just sat down in the back of the truck and cried. Clark sitting in the cart looking at his momma like she was crazy. I can hear him thinking "Mom just get a bigger box, or send a 2nd one." Well, honestly I wasn't thinking either of those thoughts. I wanted it ALL in one box no exceptions. Needless to say we sent one box on Tuesday that weighed 26 pounds and I'm sending another Flat Rate box this week with the stuff that wouldn't fit plus a few more extra's. It's all good now :-).
2. In the madness of packing the box at Target on Monday I forgot to send the Hubs a Christmas Card. I ventured out to Wal-Mart at 8 a.m. yesterday in search for THE perfect Card. There on the Christmas Card aisle at Wal-Mart I had a meltdown. They don't make a Christmas Cards for deployed spouses. How crazy is that? Yes, I guess I could have just made him one, but that would be too much work for me. EVERY card I picked up said something about being together, cudddling together, kissing under the misltoe, spending Christmas together, etc. It made me crazy. I know I must have read 50 cards before I found one that was semi- appropriate. It was a beautiful card, but still not as appropriate for our situation as I wish I could have been. I'm kind of a card geek. I have a box I keep cards in for every occassion. If I see one that I really like and know that I will eventually use I buy it. I know the card section inside and out in Wal-Mart, Target and Hallmark. Wes has probably recieved "the perfect card" more times than he can count, 100 or MORE in our 5 years of being together. BUT this time I couldn't find "the perfect card." Enough to make this woman Nuts.
So 2 meltdown's down, and who knows how many more to come. Hopefully not to many more. I can deal with the big one on Christmas Day because I know it's coming. I'm hoping that between now and then I can prepare myself enough that maybe, just maybe it will pass me right on by.
You think I'll be that lucky?
Final's are this week (I'm taking 4 Test) and this is my last week of teaching at the KSD until Jan 5th. Clark has preschool this week and then we'll be resting up for Christmas, our trip to Gainesville again, a New Year, and more importantly the countdown to Daddy coming home for his Rest and Relaxation :-).
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