My Life As an Army Wife {Part 7: Accessibility/Convienience}

Accessibility/Convienience is not what you get when you are married to the army.

Yesterday in the morning on post we had a short power outage; maybe an hour max. At around 12:00 p.m. I headed over to the commissary to pick up some a few needed items, what did I find? The commissary was "Closed About Power Outage" the sign stated. Keep in mind the commissary was Closed Sunday like it usually is, Monday for Memorial day, closed because of the power outage on Tuesday and closed AGAIN today like it normally is. So, still no groceries for us. We're not starving though I promise. We could drive 45 minutes to Katterbach to buy groceries, but with the price of Gas..ugh! We can buy some things on the German economy but for the sake of not going broke because of the Euro rate we tend to stick closer to the commissary where we can spend our US Dollars. Thank goodness my little man doesn't mind drinking German milk.

Next, at around 7 p.m. Crash called and asked if we had any gas coupons. I said no, Why? She then proceeded to tell me that the Shoppette was not selling gas because of a pump problem and that they also were not selling gas coupons (used so we can buy gas on the economy at the same price we pay per liter on post). I suggested buying some coupons at the P.X., but oh yeah it's already closed too. We can buy gas on the German economy at the price of like $2 something per liter, and at that rate we would definitely go broke. Once again we do our very best to fill up on post or have previously purchased gas coupons for So Crash, I am sorry that you experienced the lack of accessibility/convince our post gives to our families.

Lastly, our post is not fully-functioning on a daily bases. There are certain places that are only open certain days at certain times. If they are not open here then it is possible that once again we could drive 40 minutes to Katterbach for availability. It's aggravating most of the time.

This is one of the biggest reason's I can't wait to get back to the states. I can drive to the Hop-In or Sam's and fill up with no problem. I can take Clarke to the Pediatrician and not worry about it being closed for Training/or only have 2 Doctors available for a community of 5000 plus.
I can run to the Wal-Mart or any of the other grocery stores and get everything in one stop that I might need or want .

Loss of Life

Please be in prayer for the Chapman family as they grieve the loss of their youngest daughter.
Read the full article here, "Stephen Curtis Chapman Daughter Killed by Car in Driveway"

How Great Is My God

Just a little update for those of you who read my post from yesterday.
I believe that the Father is sorting through the Wheat and picking out every discrepancy that he can find (Just like the Feast of First Fruits in the Jewish Religion) so that in the future my friendship with this special person might indeed be blessed. Me and this someone we're finally able to talk yesterday afternoon and sort out the miscommunication/problems that have risen in the last few weeks. I think we're on the road to recovery. THANK YOU JESUS!

Friend of God

The last 2 days have been PURE HELL for me, and the next days/weeks could be as well. There is a particular situation in which I have somehow become involved in, amidst ever knowing that I had ever done anything wrong. Really, I haven't done anything wrong. I promise. Someone I am/was extremely close with thinks that I have though. UGH.... How do you explain that to someone who has their mind made up about the outcome. Actually, how do you explain that to someone who has had their mind made up for them. Keep in mind this is something that I actually am not suppose to know about, but have been made aware of because of growing tension.

My friend Tracy said to me today, "you tend to let the petty things get to you". That is exactly right, I do. I like to make people happy. I hate to do anything that would cause anyone else to fret. I am tender hearted to most, but at the same time I can turn into the biggest bitch (sorry for the language) you will ever meet. This situation is one that has set with me the wrong way. My feelings are crushed, because in all reality I could be loosing one of my best friends. At the same time, I am very angry. I'm not going to get into the reason I am angry because I suppose I could sound selfish in some of my reasoning, and because there are other people involved that are 2 of my favorite people.

I can't tell you the last time that I have been sad enough to bawl my eyes out. Yesterday for over an hour while my precious little boy slept, I cried and cried and cried. I definitely felt better after the fact, but it doesn't make the situation any better. Actually today it seems that things have gotten worse. Don't feel bad for me, I should have known that something like this was bound to happen. Things have been going so good for me lately, time could only tell.

Saying all of that to get to this point. You know most of the time in our desperation we cry out for our Heavenly Father for his comfort. Last night, I felt all alone. I sat at my computer for a while trying to figure out the "What ifs?"and nothing seemed to make since no matter how hard I tried to make them work. Yes, I cried out in rage and anger to my God, not mad at Him at all, but mad because I have been put in a place where I know I am being attacked at every angle possible by Satan. Maybe I am wrong, maybe this is not an attack, but is God's way of Refining me. Maybe He's trying to take me to a deeper more trusting relationship with him. As I searched for answers in my mind, I was moved to these 2 scriptures and many others.

1 Peter 1:7
These have come so that your faith—
of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—
may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor
when Jesus Christ is revealed.

Psalm 18:6

In my distress I called to the LORD;
I cried to my God for help.
From his temple he heard my voice;
my cry came before him, into his ears.

I know that I am not in this alone. I do have an amazing husband who reminded me last night that through it all he is right by my side. He reminded me that when it seemed like nobody else cared he did and he loved me so much. He also said to me "This should just be a reminder to you that since I along with many others seem to forget, that amidst all the craziness that life can bring we serve a Savior who always cares." My Savior has promised repeatedly through out the scriptures that he will NEVER EVER leave me or forsake me.

Deuteronomy 31:8

The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you;
he will never leave you nor forsake you.
Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged."

I went to church this morning with the wrong attitude, even after such an amazing experience with the Father last night. My heart was not ready for worship, but full of bitterness and anxiety. As worship began the song "I am A Friend of God" was sang and it was like all of my worries and anxieties from the previous evening that had crept back in were just wiped right away once again. It was a blunt reminder that my God is mindful of me, he loves and he promises that he will hear me when I call. The Father does not intend for me to be callused by this situation, but desires for me to give him a Heart full of praise because of the good things that HE is doing and will do.

Ok, enough rambling. Sorry for going on and on, but I needed to get this off my chest somehow. Check out the video above of Friend of God if you've never heard the song before. It's amazing!!!

My God, the Great I AM
Strong, Powerful
Mighty, Tender
Loving, Caring
Omnipotent
Omniscient
Omnipresent
Grieving, Working
Supporting, Steadfast
Never-Changing, Unfailing
That is How I am Loved
by my I AM.

By Iris K. Heeter 2008

My Life As an Army Wife {Part 6: The World's Largest Human Yellow Ribbon Formation}

just wanted to let you all know that Clarke and I participated in the World's Largest Yellow Ribbon (HUMAN) Formation yesterday here on post. Our community, along with a few others, were trying to beat the Marine Corps record of around 800 and something people. We were blessed with a turn out of 1,385 folks. It was hot, but in all we had a good time. I'm too tired tonight to post the pictures that we took, but I will try to post them tomorrow along with a little update about our weekend with Wesley!

P.S. Baby Gwyneth should be coming home from the hospital today. YAY for Nate and Tricia. Read their story at Confessions of a CFHusband.

It's All In A Name

I came across a pretty neat website (Follow this link: "BlogThings") over on my friend Stephanies blog at "Southern In Syracuse". Check out the website for your self and see if your name actually describes you as well as mine does. Mine couldn't have been more perfect. My friends would probably totally agree.

What Megan Means

You are confident, self assured, and capable. You are not easily intimidated.
You master any and all skills easily. You don't have to work hard for what you want.
You make your life out to be exactly how you want it. And you'll knock down anyone who gets in your way!

You are friendly, charming, and warm. You get along with almost everyone.
You work hard not to rock the boat. Your easy going attitude brings people together.
At times, you can be a little flaky and irresponsible. But for the important things, you pull it together.

You are deeply philosophical and thoughtful. You tend to analyze every aspect of your life.
You are intuitive, brilliant, and quite introverted. You value your time alone.
Often times, you are grumpy with other people. You don't appreciate them trying to interfere in your affairs.

You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection.
You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive.
You have the classic "Type A" personality.

You are very intuitive and wise. You understand the world better than most people.
You also have a very active imagination. You often get carried away with your thoughts.
You are prone to a little paranoia and jealousy. You sometimes go overboard in interpreting signals.

My Life As an Army Wife {Part 5: The Buddy System}

Me, Min, Rexy and Amber
Summer 2001

Me, Min, Kat, Ames, and Adrienne
May 2002

Min and her Hubby Brian
"Roll Tide Roll"
(me and Rexy say WAR EAGLE!)

Rexy

Ames

Today I was sitting out in the back yard trying to read. My mind was going in a hundred different directions thinking about what I was going to post today and I began to think about "The Buddy System". In the army it is of vital importance that you have good support system with your family, but also with your girlfriends (many are going thru the same things). I know both my parent's and Wesley's support our decision of being an Army Family whole heartedly. We've had their support from the very beginning. It was a little more difficult for my parents, especially when they found out that I was pregnant and moving to Germany with their first Grandchild. They have accepted that Wes would take their only child and their only Grandchild away to only do what is best for "Our" family in such a time as this.

I've come to discover over the last 19 months the importance of having close relationships with your friends both from "home" and from the installation in which you are stationed at. I have some GREAT girlfriends and a couple of GREAT guy friends back home. You know how you have that little "group" that you spend time with. Well I have a few of those. I went to school in Wicksburg, so I have my Wicskburg Girls. I attended church (and still attend when I am home) at Ridgecrest Baptist in Dothan, so I have my RBC Buddies. I danced in Patti Rutland Jazz and at The Kelly School of Dance, so I have my PRJ/KSD girls. I went to college at The Baptist College of Florida, so I have my BCF Friends. I worked at Florida GA/Acteens Camp, so I have my friends that are "Staffers." Now that I am in Germany I have what I call my "Besties". The list could go on you know. In all of those groups I still ONLY have a handful of friends that I refer to as my very best friends.

Mindy (who's hubby is also in the Army and currently deployed), Rexanne (who's the best hairdresser in the world) and Amy, are my very best friends. If you can go through it, we've been through it together. We've had alot of GREAT times together but we've also been through our share of bull crap together as well. They are my backbone. I would not trade these 2 girls for anything in the world.

Now, I'm in Germany and don't always have that instant access to my girls back in the states. But I still love them dearly and they ALL know how special they are to me and my family!

My Heart is Broken

Friends,
I am asking for your prayers tonight. I met a young lady in the clinic today, 23 years old. She and her husband have 2 and 3 year old boys. Her husband had just informed her that he wants a divorce and she discovered this week that she is pregnant again. Her husband is currently in AIT in the states and she is here visiting her parents who are retired Army.

I was waiting in line to speak to the Tricare Rep. and she was standing along side of me. She began to tell me a little about herself. She proceeded to tell me that she was pregnant and that there was no way that she could "keep the kid". I asked her if she was sure. She told me that her husband had up and joined the army and that she was pretty sure that he had another lady friend else were. I really just wanted to cry. I didn't know what to say to her so I began to pray. The Lord said, "Just be still and Listen". She continued on to tell me that she did not agree with Abortions, but right now she had no other choice. My first response wanted to be..we'll there is adoption, but I kept silent. Clark began to get fussy so I decided that standing in the line was not for me. I was about to walk away and I was compelled to say to her, "Mrs, I can't say I know where you have been, but please know that I am going to be praying on your behalf that everything works out for the best."

Friends, I know that there is a time and a place for everything, including abortion but why do we even have to make that choice? I believe that God doesn't give us anymore than we can handle, despite the fact that sometimes it seems that he has. What is the determining factor in saying when an abortion is "right" or "wrong" I praise God everyday that Nate and Tricia went against Dr.s orders when they found out they were pregnant with Gwyneth. Look at the miracle that they have created for God's Glory!

I wanna know how you, my friends and family feel about this issue. Are you as strongly opposed to it as I am? I'm off my rocker a little tonight, so please bear with me.

My Life As an Army Wife {Part 4: Grief and Depression}

My Wesley leaving for his Field Mission

No, No, No, I am not grieving nor am I depressed (yet), but I do want to share with you guys a statement that my friend heard at a Family Readiness Group Support Assistant conference 2 weeks ago.

"When a soldier leaves for a deployment, the symptoms/signs from the spouse are often times the same as those of a spouse who has just lost their spouse to death."

I was invited to be a part of the "C4: A Christian Companions Combative Creed" podcast a week or so ago and this was one of our topics of conversation. I had never really thought about the similarities, but whoever made this statement is hitting real close to home. I've not been through a deployment, but we are preparing for one in the near future. I am praying that I do not have to experience these emotions.

So, I've spent some time in the last few days thinking about how I can keep myself from this expereince. This is what I want my mindset to be;

1. Yes, it's ok to be sad and to cry, but I need to be strong for Clarke, he's depending on his Mommy. Most importantly, I need for Wes to know that I can do it!
2. Wes is not gone for good, he WILL be coming home. I'm allowed to miss him. We were ordained to be together as Husband and Wife, and if I am not missing him....something is wrong.
3. I have a WONDERFUL group of friends who are going through the same thing and I. We are called to lift one another up and to carry each others burdens.
4. I serve a Savior who will not give me ANYTHING more than he knows I can handle. I can rely on Him at all times, in all things.