Saturday, December 24, 2005

Tis the Season to be Jolly!!!

I haven't posted in so long, and for that I apologize. December has definately been a trying time for my family, but at the same time I find so much to rejoice in.

On Dec 1 we recieved a call at 5:00 p.m. that my grandfather was being rushed to the Emergency Room in Eufaula, and we needed to come immediately. Within 9 hours he had passed away. There was nothing more we could do to ease his pain, there was only 1 thing the Father could do and that was to call him Son unto his own. I have been so unsure of my Papa's salvation since my very own in April of 2001, and on Dec 5 my uneasiness of his eternity were made ever so clear. The pastor reassured me that indeed my Papa was spending eternity with my Heavenly Father. He informed me that during my Papa's last hospital stay he had gone to visit and my Papa seemed some what clear as to what as going on around him and had so many questions to ask, one being about the sureness of his Salvation. They read through the Roman's Road, shared in the Lord's Supper and indeed my Papa had accepted the Lord Jesus as his Lord and Savior. PRAISE THE LORD!

I've been to serveral Christmas performances, Christmas parties, eaten alot of Holiday foods and just spent time really Celebrating the birth of Jesus. It has been great. I don't think I could ask for much more fun! I've had a couple short down moments, because I realize that this year I have lost 2 of the greatest men in my life and they will not be here for me to spend Christmas with, but I jump back quickly in rememberance that they indeed are Celebrating with Jesus himself. How great does that sound to you?

We are in Gainesville with Wesley's family now and are already having a splended time! Had a Christmas party over at Christy's (tha big Sister) house last night and have just rested most of today, it has been great.Tonight we will go to an incredible candlelight service at Northwest Baptist Church, then we will come home and hacve mom's fantastic Chicken Lagsauna. My neice Jessica (5) and my Nephew Alex (2) are so dang excited, and it's just the cutest thing ever!

More on the excitement tommorrow! Gotta get all prettied up!

Tuesday, November 29, 2005

When Life Hands Your Lemons....

It's been forever since I last posted. Other than Auburn beating Alabama I've had a pretty rough couple of weeks. The entire week before Thanksgiving I was sick. Spent alot of time sleeping and watching t.v. in my big ole bed.To make things worse, Wesley was away with the Male Chorale and I was missing him terribly.

Then there was last week. I was actually off on Monday which was nice. I spent all day cleaning then went with Wesley to Firehouse Subs and the grocery store to fight all the other lunatics who waited until 3 days before Thanksgiving to do their grocery shopping. I did alot of baking during the week;I made 6 Pumpkin Cheesecakes, several pumpkin pies and a couple of pound cakes. They all turned out real nice, and I didnt recieve the first complaint. I had to work 9-6 on Tuesday and Wednesday which wasn't too bad because we weren't really all that busy. All the fam got into town on Wednesday night and of course it was just LOUD! When all the Clark's and Crim's get together it's like a stadium full of fans at a football game. Everyone does their very best to talk louder than the others. It's annoying and sometimes causes drama.

Thursday was real nice and of course as always made me realize that I have oh so much to be thankful for. The food was fabulous. I actually made the sweet potato cassarole, and believe it or not they were good for my first time. Let's just say I ate so much food that when I laid down in the bed that night I could't sleep because I was miserably full.

I was disappointed on Friday and Saturday that I wasn't able to do any shopping. I guess I'll just have to buy all of my Christmas presents this year at full price. I'm sure with my nerves I was better off just working at the Bridal Shoppe and keeping it on the DL!

Friday night I did go over to the shop for a huge bon-fire and cook out with the Hughes' and Gilmores. All the Clark's that were staying here with us went and that is something that dosen't usually happen. Hopefully we can make it a habit to do more things together.

We'll I'm outta here. My actual point of posting was to say "Happy Belated Turkey Day" and that I am thankful you are my friend!

Monday, November 14, 2005

Blah, Blah, Blah

Well, the weekend is over and I feel as if I accomplished absolutely nothing.

Saturday was probably one of the most exhaustin/longest days I have had in a long time; I got up at 4:30 a.m. to take Wesley to BCF to catch the bus finally at 6:30 a.m. they left, got home at 7:00 a.m. to get ready for work, and at 7:40 a.m. I was at Golden Chorale for breakfast with the boss, worked from 9:00 a.m. - 6:00 p.m., went to a baby shower until 8:00 p.m. and was in bed by 8:30 p.m., and sick as a dog.

After not sleeping on Saturday night, and feeling like my head had been run over by a truck, I got up and drove over to Blue Lake in Andalusia to see all my buddies from Chrysalis. It was so refreshing to visit with each of them, especially Mama Jean, Bug, and Momma K.

I wish you all could meet Mama Jean, she is the most godly woman I have ever met. I found out yesterday that she was recently found out that her Colin cancer had relapsed, and is taking chemotherapy again. As bad as she has to feel, her amazing faith keeps her going. She is a faithful prayer warrior. She continually reminds me that she prays for me each morning, and each night before she goes to bed. It just amazes me, after everything that she has been through, cancer twice, loosing her youngest son last year, the passing of her husband, she still stands strong in her faith, never doubting for a moment that the Father has a perfect plan for her life, and that He is in absolute control.

Ok, enough said. I feel like crap. Wesley's gone and I'm still sick. I think the worst is here and hopefully by Wednesday I will feel better. I'm outta here!

Thursday, November 10, 2005

Only Time Will Tell

dang, it's been forever since i last posted. i sit down atleast once a day with the intnetions of posting, but it never seems to happen. i'm in IT 202 right now listening to Mrs. Bugg ramble on about power point. Things have been hectic. My emotions are running wild. I'm just out right tired. The semester is slowly coming to a close and I have oh so much work to do between now and the week before finals. thanksgiving break will be filled with lots of homework and study time. OH JOY!

wesley is going out of town this weekend with the Male Chorale which really sucks for me, but will be such an enjoyable time for him. Days are going by so quickly and we still haven't gotten to spend any time together. I thought I was so excited about him going into the army (don't get me wrong I am), but the more and more I think about him leaving in January the more my heart hurts. I love my hubby so good!

well, enough is enough for now. its time to head to the bridal shoppe for the afternoon! this ought to be a swell afternoon!

Wednesday, October 26, 2005


I hate peeping tom's. my best friend informed me today that as she and her boyfriend walked around lake albert yesterday evening that folks were watching from the cafateria to see just how many times they would go around. the saying at bcf goes, "If you walk around the lake 3 times you're gonna get married." i found it very funny that they decided to walk 3 times just to see what people would say to them, and indeed they did. now i had never heard the three times thing, i was under the impression that anytime you walked around the lake with someone of the opposite sex you were going to be getting married! i wonder why wesley never took me for a walk around the lake. anyways, i told best friend not to worry about those crazy folks, they are all just looking for something to talk about anyways. if my best friend and her boyfriend are the only form of entertainment that these people are getting, man do they need to get a life.

anyways, i finally registered for classes yesterday. next semester is not going to be to bad. i think with wesley being gone keeping myself very busy will be the best thing that i can do for myself. i am hoping to get another job where i do not have to work on the weekends so homework shouldn't be a problem and I will also have the oppurtunity to spend some time with my family, wesley's family and my buddies.

i'm outta here.

P.S. To all you people who often pretend to be psychic, you might need to stop before it get you in some major chaos!

Monday, October 24, 2005

Here Ya Go....

I know on several occassions I have mentioned that Wesley and I have been in the process of making some very difficult, yet responsiblie decisions that will greatly affect our future as a married couple. The time has come and I can finally tell you what that decisions is, Wesley is now a soldier in the United States Army! I am very proud of my boy! It's been a long drawn out process but when Wesley left on Friday to go to MEPS, there was a peace that came over me that was absolutely amazing. He has enlisted, been assigned the job of Attack Helicopter Repair (working on Appaches and Black Hawks), and been sworn in. It's a done deal, no turning back now. On January 18, 2006 I will take Wesley to the Dothan Recruiting office and drop him off, he will then be gone for a long 25 weeks. He will go to Ft. Jackson, South Carolina for 9 weeks of Basic Training. All of the Brezina's, myself and Best Friend will all head up the first week of March for his graduation. Then over to Ft. Eustis, Virginia for 16 weeks and 4 days of AIT's. I will again head up during spring break to see him.

Indeed, I will miss Wesley more than I believe either of us know as of now, but I know that because of our willingness to say Yes to the Father we will be blessed. This is not something that we just thought of on our own. Wesley at the age of 14 felt the call to full time ministry through Military Service, but back in August the Father reaffirmed that this is where he has called Wesley to serve.

I must go now, but I will bring more to you later on! Just wanted to let you in on the buzz!!!!


Friday, October 21, 2005

Catch Me if You Can....

Introducing.....Ms. PICKLE! (just a side note)

Man, I didnt even realize that it had been almost 2 weeks since I last posted. I must say that things have been quiet eventful and busy. Let me first give props to my bestest friend in the whole wide world, she has indeed met a very magical man,"mr. daniel"! I can truly say that I am happier than ever for her. I just pray that the Father continues to place everything together and works good in each of their lives through their relationship with one another. It is so crazy how the Father takes two individuals who are so imperfect and places them in such a perect relationship not only with himself, but with one another. I can probably say that this guys is the best thing that has ever happened to her. I haven't had the chance to meet him yet, but I do think that he may be in my BF 103 class. He sits on the other side of the room though. Maybe I'll take that chance and introduce myself to him as "THE best friend." I don't want to scare him though, or come across as some mean green eating machine.

So, today I brought Kelly Ann a nice surprise to class. She loved it! That gal cracks me up. After giving her the "treats" I informed her that next time she should include me, I hate missing out on any dangerous fun! People let me just tell you, if you ever plan on messing with any of Kelly Ann's girls, you better watch your back....SHE"LL HURT YOU!

Lins and Keith still seem to be doing great, which is fantastic. I knew from the minute that I realized who it was that she was seeing that he would treat her like a princess. She definately deserves the royal treatment. Keith, not just sometimes.....BUT ALL THE TIME.

Well, Wesley is leaving this afternoon at 12:00 to head out of town for a few days. He can't take his cell phone with him, so while he's gone I won't be able to talk to him. I will miss him bunches, but I guess I should probably get used to him being away and not being able to talk to him, because before too long he'll be gone for a couple of months (atleast 6). Let me just tell you, everything in our marriage is beginning to just fall right into place. The Father is definately blessing us indeed.Financially, we're beginning to get things paid off, which is a huge accomplishment. I can't say that things have been easy, because just like every other married couple we still struggle too, but I can say that I have been given the most extrodinary husband in the whole world. He desires to take care of me, to love me, to meet my every need, and I just love that about him. I desire to do the exact same for him. MAY I MENTION..HE IS SPOILED ROTTEN, and addicted to facebook!

Can you all believe that Christmas is right around the corner. I decided that tonight while Wesley is gone, I am going to head to the Wal-Mart (after I go to the Miss Peanut Pageant) and put some things on layaway. I definately need to get a head start. If I don't get started now, financially I will never be able to purchase all the gifts that I need to.

Oh yeah, I heard on the radio this morning the reason why the "Dollar General" in Graceville burned down.....dum, dum, dum BAD WIRING. Who would have guessed?

We'll today is Boss's Day. I'll be headed up to the Bridal Shoppe around 12:15 for a steak dinner in honor of my boss. I don't really care for steak in the middle of the day, but shoot I am not going to turn down a free meal, especially a free meal that includes NEW YORK STRIP and RIBEYES! I made a triple chocholate, hot fudge cake and rice krispy treats to take.

Let me just make one last note here... IT IS PAST TIME FOR A GALS NIGHT OUT! So lets, get to planning. We'll make it a night thats better than ever! I promise!

Holla Back...

Saturday, October 08, 2005

I Want to Cultivate Inner Beauty.

1 Peter 2:21-25 (The Message)
21. This is the kind of life you've been invited into, the kind of life Christ lived. He suffered everything that came his way so you would know that it could be done, and also know how to do it, step-by-step.
22. He never did one thing wrong, Not once said anything amiss.
23. They called him every name in the book and he said nothing back. He suffered in silence, content to let God set things right.
24. He used his servant body to carry our sins to the Cross so we could be rid of sin, free to live the right way. His wounds became your healing.
25. You were lost sheep with no idea who you were or where you were going. Now you're named and kept for good by the Shepherd of your souls.

Last night, God used an extra-ordinary 17 year old boy from one of the high schools in my area to speak directly to my heart. When I was asked to come and hang out at a 5th Quarter with a bunch of teenagers, I never once thought that I would be the one that the Father would choose to work within. Today, I am amazed at the things/people that the Father uses to speak truth, and to show you areas in your life that you may not be completely content with or surrendering completely to Him! The question I am trying to answer now, Why wasn't I listening before now? The Father has been there all along to guide me step-by-step.
Let me tell you about this fella. Travis is a one of a kind man. He could pass as the class clown, class stud, and all around just a popular guy. He is a memeber of Ashford United Methodist Church where my best friend Joe Steen serves as Minister to Students. Travis came to know the Lord 3 years ago at a lock-in. He's your "typical teenager" who never realized just how much he had going for him until he heard Joe teach from the scriptures above. Now, you can say that Travis speaks truth, knows scripture better than I (may I remind you I've take 4 Dr. Jumper classes and for OT and NT classes, so I have no excuse) and is determined too offer himself daily to Christ. This young fella has no greater desire but to follow Christ and faithfully work to bring others into the kingdom. We gathered in a room, about 50 or more teenagers, had a rockin good time jammin out with the band "Desperation", and had a wonderful time being taught from the scriptures by Travis.
I'm sorta lost for words. I want to explain to you in exact detail everything that the Father used this young man to share, but there's really no time for all of that.Everything he had to say hit me like a ton of bricks. I know for a fact that the words coming from Travis' mouth were not his own, but those of the One who knew just what I needed to hear. Travis did an amazing job, as nervous as he was. He offered the gift of salvation so openly, but yet allowed those listening (classmates and adults) to know that salvation does not come without suffering. Indeed it is a gift that can be freely recieved, but it not something you recieve and use as you would like. It's a gift that is for eternity. He asked the question, Why must suffer in order to become stronger in our faith, and responded , we must suffer for the sake of Christ. Why? Because Jesus first suffered for us and it is our responsibility to do our very best to live our lives as an offering to Him. Not just sometimes though, it's an ALL the time kinda ordeal. When Jesus was hanging on the cross being called unmentionable names, being spatt on and beat until blood began to pour from His sides, he not once complained. He took it like a man. A REAL MAN! He knew that his suffering would be so benefical for those who accepted the call to Salvation. He would suffer the pain and brutality of our sins so that we would never have to go through the things that he had. He suffered so that when we suffer now, we know that we don't have to suffer alone. He bore it all for us many years ago, and now he's here with us holding our hands and allowing us to rely on Him for help. I'm not real sure where I was going with this, but maybe it'll make sense to you. It made ALOT of sense to me, and was evidentally what I needed to hear to get my act together.

Wednesday, October 05, 2005


Well, Well, Well....I let everything slip between my fingers and now I will have to pay for it. I will spend the entire night working on studying for the 2 mid-terms I have to take tommorrow and a book review. I should have already done that stupid book review for LA 103, but today I was too busy watching Sex in the City, yesterday i was too sleepy. So tonight I will get to do it! It's either do it or fail the class. Which one would you choose? Alright, enough pity for me. I'm gone like a fat kid....


Tuesday, October 04, 2005

It's All Random.

Geeze, seems like everyone is falling in love these days. I'm not complaining, I think its absolutely fantastic.

Best Friend and her man Mr.Babyface are back together. I wasn't thrilled at first, but you know what I'm so ok with it now. I see just how happy she is and that makes me smile! There I said it, are you happy? As long as he treats her like the special gal that she is then we will all be just fine. I would definitely hate for my fist and his face to have a meeting because he's acting like a thug, pimp, player or whatever else he decides to be! I may be little, but I've learned enough karate from Wesley that I think I could karate kick someone if I had to. Wink, Wink! *Best Friend I know you are happier than ever and I love you!*

The other roomie Lins is so dang in love it's not even funny. Yesterday she and her beau celebrated their one month anniversary and it was so cute! Keith walked all the way from the Pig just to bring her flowers to her house. They were even her favorite, daisies!!! I wish you guys could just see how happy Lins really is. As I reflected back to 2002 when we all came in to BCF, I realize that we're headed in a whole new direction. Love does something to a person that is just sometimes overwhelming!
(Editors Note: Again, for those of you who continue to take my writings WAY too seriously MARRIAGE IS NOT AN OPTION AT THIS POINT for the two love birds....that is not what I am saying. YES, it may be in the future but at this point its not.l If it is being talked about its none of your dang business!)

I must say that I too am in love.More in love than I have ever been! I have the most wonderfulest hubby in the entire world. We just have the best time together. I fall more in love with Wesley every day! I often wonder how he can love someone as odd as me? My daddy says it takes a special person to love and put up with me!!!! I bet my Linds and Lins would agree! Friday he is going to bring Baylee (our puppy child) to school with him at 11:30 and the 3 of us are going to have a picnic by the lake! How romantic...huh?

On a side note from people being in love, I must say. I have the bestest friend in the world, but I honestly think that I have accumulated another best friend since August and I absolutely love it. Don't get me wrong NOBODY could ever replace "Best Friend" herself, but I think this other chick comes in just about as close! Me, Best Friend and Lins, are closer than ever before! It's great. You all know how I feel about Best Friend, if you don't, read the post I wrote several weeks ago about her, but Lins is just freakin great too! She rocks my face all the time and you know what else.....SHES SUPER DUPER SEXY! The three of us can talk about everything and anything and not feel judged in anyway. Together we can just be ourselves and have a heck of a good time. Sometimes we might have a little too much fun, but you know what the fun just continues to get more and more crazy, but thats how i like it. Umm. I like it like that...Oh wait that was a batchelorett party momement! Too provocative to write on here, right Best Friend! Thats what real friends do, love each other, accept each other as we are, and crap we just have freakin good times! We all love Days of Our Lives, which keeps our bond even stronger! We're all three completely opposite, there is Best Friend who is the priss pot, me...we'll I guess I'm the in between of Best Friend and Lins but I'm just old, and then there's Lins whos kinda punk/fun/easy going kinda gal! I'm the creame of the Oreo of the two.

Speaking of oreo's I wish I had some right now, I am starving for something sweet! How about some Sours gals? We'll I have rambled by blasted mouth enough tonight, so it's time for me to cut it off!

Holla Back......

P.S. I am currently addicted to facebook, if you're not registered yet, please get to it before I have to cut your head off! (Yeah, I'm talking to you two gals also). And, if anyone of you out there reading this could tell me how to add other folks links to my page I would love it if you would tell me!

Friday, September 30, 2005

Where has this week gone?

its seems to have just occured to me that i have not posted in quiet sometime. i have been oh so busy this week with school work and work. mid-terms start next week so i've been extra diligent this week to be sure that i've gotten everything possible done that could be on one of the exams. last semester was a rough one so i've been doing everything that i can possibly do to insure that i have straight a's at the end of this semester. my gpa needs a good kick in the butt.

alot has gone on this week that has really made me realize that my life as a married woman is fixing to start all falling into place. within the next few months, all of our debt will be payed off, except both of our school loans. wesley will be taking a new job hopefully around christmas time or shortly after. this has been a decision that has required alot of effort on both of our parts, prayer, deep desire to grow in our marriage. and just a peace within both of our hearts taht comes from the Father that surpasses all understanding. i promise, as i said before you guys will be the first to know after we've told our families.

man, i've got baby fever so bad. wesley says NO right now, and i know that he is right. it is just not the right time for either of us. i guess my clock is just ticking, but too bad. it will just have to keep on ticking.tick, tick, tick, i'm waiting! we actually have been discussing baby names though. i had first said that i wanted the girl name lanee elizabeth, but my cousin who is expecting in march informed me that she wants to name her little boy michael "lane". so i threw that idea out the door and now i am content with mckenlee elizabeth, and she will go by "kenlee". wesley said that he liked it but we'll see. heck, you never know when the time comes the name may not even be close.

work has been very busy. it's homecoming and pageant time already! some girls today sure are hoochie mama's. you outta see some of the things that their mama's let them wear. my daddy would have never let me out of the house, more less even purchase something such as what the gals today are purchasing. it beats all you've ever seen.

thats all for now, outta here!

Friday, September 23, 2005

Girls Just Wanna Have Fun!

i needed last night so much. after a long day of school and work i headed over to the roomies house for some good girl time. We're trying to make a habit of having girl night more frequently. we all need it! needless to say, we watched the ultimate chick flick "Dirty Dancing." As always, it was great! Amy Brown makes me laugh so hard, she knows the entire movie word for word. That girl done went and lost her mind. It was only the 4 of us last night, but we don't have to have 30 people to have a good time. Best Friend snorted time after time last night, and that kept me laughing all night. It sure was good to hear her laugh for a change. I love it when she's happy! Running out of words....Meg

Thursday, September 22, 2005

Say one thing, Do another! WHATS THE PROBLEM

recently, i vented my frustrations as to how it drives me crazy when people say one thing and do the exact oppisite. well needless to say, once again I am frustrated. last time i was only a bit frustrated, today I am just out right pissed off. people continually say that they want to be found in the image of Christ, they want to live, they want to learn, they want every single aspect of their lives to glorify the Father. well, personally...if you say your going to do it, dang it just do it. i don't even know why this upsets me the way that it does. i guess its because of comments that my dad, who is an unbeleiver, made only a week ago when were were talking. by no means am I perfect, but most of the time i am who i am. i don't try to be something that i am not. i want people to see the same ole megan everytime they come into contact with me. yes, we all NEED to change occasionally, but not every dang day. We all want to fit in, we all want to do what is "right", but listen here buddy, fitting in and doing what is "right" is not always best. my point is get it together and figure out who you are, decide what morals you are going to live by and live by them, say what you want to be heard, but don't change your thoughts later. There are people out there, like my dad for instance who is watching us beleivers, just waiting for us to mess up. Man, do you want the way you present yourself to unbelievers to completely turn them away from Christ. HECK NO! I know I do not. I want my daddy to find delight in other believers and desire to live as one......does this make ANY sense?


Monday, September 19, 2005

Not Even Myself....

alot of things have been going on these days. i can't say that they've all been good things, but heck those that have been difficult to accept will be for the better in the long run. wesley and i will be making several choices within the next few weeks that will be changing our lives forever. once we've let our families know, and everything is finalized you readers will be the first to know. why, because if you're reading this you must be interested in whats going on in my life, or atleast i hope that is the case. no we are not getting divorced or having a baby.

the weekend was just not good for me. friday night was alright. once again we hung out at my aunt and uncles house just like we do every friday. saturday i worked all day. i was in a bad mood when i woke up and was in an extremeley bad mood when i went to bed. it seems like when one thing goes wrong the cycle goes on and on and my mood continues to get worse. first my job just gets the best of me sometimes. i often want to scream when i walk out of the front door. secondly, my mom and I got into a nasty argument when I got home from work, I cried and she yelled and that just made my mood worse. i had to apologize to wesley on sunday morning for being so grumpy. he of cource accepted and said he loves me even if i am mean sometimes. this is the thing though, i should have been happy on saturday. auburn beat ball state's butt's and the gators did a mighty fine job beating up yennessee. dinner was my favorite foods, pizza from papa johns and wesley made hott wings just for me. oh well..its over now!

So, lets just pray that God is going to open some new doors of oppurtunity for me shortly. I hate change, but things are just getting old and for once in my life I will say it is time for a change. I might even like this change, but we will just see where the Father leads me.

i don't have anything else to say. More news in the next few days about the rest of our lives!


Wednesday, September 14, 2005

It Is Stirring Within My Heart......Again

I am tired today. I should have allowed myself to stay in bed and catch up, but I didn't. I was already awake and decided I should save my absences for another day.Heck, I may need them towards the end of the semester when I am even more tired and passed the going point. It was so hard to make myself get up with LinsMari and Best Friend still warm and cozy in their beds, I just wanted to scream at them ITS NOT FAIR. After getting up, I decided that I wouldn't even be a bum today and actually took the time to pick out cute clothes, fix my hair and put on some make-up. Wesley will be proud of me!

Anyways, on to the more important things. Last night I attended the International Mission Board's Appointment Service. 86 missionaries, were appointed to places all around the Globe. Hearing their personal calls to mission was so refreshing to my heart. It just rekindles my passion for missions all over again. I am secure in my calling and thanks be to God that he reaffirms it within me so very often. If you ever have an oppurtunity to attend an appointment service I highly recommened it. It was a once in a lifetime expereince.

Dr. Rankin asked the question at the close of his challange to the appointee's and to those present within the congregation; "Do you feel as if God is stirring up a call to full time service within your heart and there is just something holding you back?" Well, I had to answer yes! I've thought about that question an awful lot since I have been home from West Africa. Like I said, I know that the Father is leading me towards a missions career, but my only hold back is the fact that Wesley does not have that same guidance, at this time. I can work on the mission field here stateside, but my hearts cry is not for the USA but for those who are among a people group who have never heard the name of Jesus ever proclamied, one of those people groups that are represented by a black flag.

I know one thing, I can not make Wesley have a call to missions, that is something that must be done through the work of the Holy Spirit within his life, but I can pray that the Father would place that calling/leading on his heart and that in obedience Wesley would faithfully accept that call. I believe highly in wishful thinking! I pray firmly for God's intervention in both of our lives and give us both leadership/direction as to what his desire is for our future in the ministry. It would be great if after we both graduate from BCF that we could be directly appointed to the field, but right now that does not look like a possibility unless the Father works on Wesley's heart alot between now and then. Pryerfully I seek that the Father would first allow both of our ministries to be his, then through his guidance give us a ministry to oversee together!

Please, don't let me sound selfish, this is not all about me. Yes, Wesley is called to full time ministry, but he is Mr. Music Man, not Mr. Mission Man! I love that he pushes my desire and allows me to be involved in missions as often as possible, but after two trips abroad without him , I am to the point that I want him to have that same desire so that we can go and minister together on the field.

Enough is enough...I'll give ya more lata!


Thursday, September 08, 2005

What's Wrong With You?

Do you ever get tired of people asking the question "What is wrong with you?" I know I do. Here lately (the last 2 weeks) I have been asked this question repeatedly by my best friend, other friends, my parents, and my co-workers. I am the way I am because that is the way that I want to be. Alright, lets get a few things out in the open before things get out of control.....
*No, I am not sad or depressed, just tired and worn out.
*No, I am not mad at you. QUIT asking. If I was mad at you, trust me, you would definately know. I don't hide my madness very well.
*No, I am not sick. I feel WONDERFUL!
*Yes, I am HIGLY frustrated. I do not know what else to say or do, I can't seem to say or do enough to keep people happy. When I do talk, people do not listen. I feel as if I am talking straight up to a freakin' concret wall. They ask for my advice or opinon, I give it, and then they take me as being heartless and uninterested. It's not that I don't care, I just don't feel like listening to you whine. I'm not going to give you a pitty party over some screw up you've gotten your own self into. STOP ACTING LIKE A 2 YEAR OLD AND GROW THE HECK UP. They say they are going to do one thing and do exactly what they say there were not going to do. They know they are making the wrong decisions, but yet they are unaffected by the circumstances at hand. {*NOTE* I am not referring to any one particular person.}
*Yes I am aggrevated. Why? PLEASE...don't even get me started. We'd be here all day.

Indeed, I needed to vent some today. I have been holding my frustrations in for a couple of days, and I decided that it would be best for me to vent to you. It would be bad if I got started on someone in person. (I have a great husband, I'd never take it out on him) My fist and their face may just have to have a meeting. I'd hate to hurt someone when I punched them with all of my might. If you just want me to, then bring it!

I will be leaving tommorrow morning after my BF103 class to head to see the in-laws for the weekend in Gainesville. Wesley's uncle passed away so it's not like we'll be having a big party or something. I don't think funerals and hours in the car are on the top of my favorite thing to do list. I HATE THEM BOTH. Hopefully neither will be to bad.

Alright, I am out before someone gets the wrong impression of me and get the idea that I am the biggest bwitch around.


Tuesday, September 06, 2005

Peace and Quiet....I Need Some!

Last week was so hectic. With the hurricane happening and the unsureness of the condition of their home (no water, no power), my aunt and cousin are still here. There have been people in and out of our house constantly the past 8 days. My aunt has made my parents home a drop of point for supplies that will be taken to Mandeville, LA this coming up Friday. There will be a 27 foot trailor leaving from Ashford, AL on Friday morning at 12:00 a.m. packed full. Don't let me sound as if I am complaining about people come to drop things off because I am not. It truly is a joy to my heart to see that there is a desire to help those individuals affected by Katrina. It is indeed a blessing to see the outpouring of kindness from the people from the Wiregrass Area. My mom and I were talking yesterday in the afternoon about why so many people from this area just give, give, give. They give so unselfishly. They do everything possible to see that people in need have everything possible. We came to the conclusion that it's partly a southern thing.

The only thing I can complain about it my nerves are quite frazzeled and I am in need some just some peace and quiet. I'm to the point of just being a plain out meany butt to everyone. I guess there is one advantage I have in being married now, when the noise does get out of control I can just leave and go home. PRAISE THE LORD!

Other than Katrina and the devestation, things have been alright. As usual I spent last week in classes and working. Thursday night me and the two roomies (Best Friend and Lins) just had some good ole girl time. It was great. We had some Mexican and then spent the rest of the evening just doing what girls do best, running their mouths. Next time we have some girl time, Amy and Heidi are definately going to have to show! Friday night me and my daddy went and hung out with the Gilmore's over at the shop. We have some good times out there. No wonder we go back every weekend! Saturday night, well but things kinda got turned around. I was suppose to chill with Lins, but her weekend had an unexpected turn around But heck, thats girl done went and made friends with my neighbor from math class! Oh Yeah, by the way, I wish you the best of luck girl. Take things slow and don't get overwhelmed and you know that things will be fantastic. I'm praying for you. Oh and another thing I must say to you, about our conversation on Thursday night....I DO ADMIRE YOU! I wish I could say I had done the same.

We'll I am going to peace out. I do not really have alot to say today. Nothing new and exciting going on yet. It's only Tuesday.

I will ask you to pray for Wesley, we should be recieving a call within the next few days as to whether or not Chalkhead Baptist Church in Ozark is going to extened the call to him to come as Minister of Music and Education.

Holla Back!

Wednesday, August 31, 2005

Hurricane Katrina

Hurricane Katrina this, Hurrican Katrina, thats all we've been hearing about for the last 6 days now. I am just in awe of the mess that this woman has made of LA, MS, AL and FL. New Orleans is torn up from one side to the other and from what they are saying on the television and radio it is going to be more of a clean up process than even Hurrican Ivan.

I spent all night Sunday night after we got home from church watching the Weather Channel just waiting for her to touch land. I kept thinking of Dr. Paula's parents in Gulfport. Paula, Christy, Mims, Mindy, Anna, Nay, Anne, Trey, and Kristen all in Hattiesburg. Dr. Paula, Dominique,Laura, Heather and the Vandercooks down in New Orleans. My dad had finally gotten my Aunt Missy and her daughter Taylor Ann to leave Covington, LA (35 min from N.O.) and come here. If they had still be in Covington, I would have been an absolute nervous wreck.

Since Katrina has touched down, phone lines are gone, cell services are unavailable, and just in general there is no way for me to know if these folks and their homes are ok. I just continue to be hopeful. I know just as soon as they are able, they will contact us one way or another and let us know that they are doing alright. You guys all know me, I am just a worry wart!

I wanna help, but I know that at this point the only thing I can do is pray. My question is though, how do I pray. Do I pray that those individuals sleeping on ramps on the interstate would have a bed tonight. Do I pray that those people that may still be stranded in their homes would be rescued. How should I pray for those that are within the Super Dome now that the Gov. is saying that they must leave. How should I pray for the mobilized relief workers? It's just all so much to take in, but I know that I have been called to stand in the gap in this time of need. So, Lord here I am use me!

Please pray. Pray Hard. Pray Faithfully. Pray Hopefully!


Friday, August 26, 2005

The Measure of a Man

Just in case you've been wondering why I haven't written in a few days, I'm here to explain. I asked you to pray for Grandaddy Gilmore on Tuesday. Well shortly after I posted my thoughts and request I recieved a phone call from my very shaken father that Gradaddy had gone on to be with the Lord. I was beyond emotions. I wasn't shocked. I knew that it was coming, but honestly I didnt think that the battle would end this soon. It was time though. Grandaddy just couldn't fight the fight anymore. I've spent alot of time this week with the Gilmore Family and with my family trying to sort things out and just remembering the legacy that was left behind for us to cherish. You see, Grandaddy Gilmore, really isn't my true Grandfather. I must say that I have never known him as anything but a Grandfather. He has been a father to my father and truly lavished upon him the love he lavished on his own children. He's gone now, but the love I have for him will continue on.

I'm curious to know how you do you know the Measure of a Man? What things should we look at? We'll from now on when I want to know the Measure of a Man, I will just look to the character of my Grandaddy Gilmore. Do you look directly at the character, or do you look at the heart, their strength's, their weaknesses, their determination and dedication? Let me hear you!

I need some answers!

Monday, August 22, 2005

Pass the Prayer Please.....

School only started last week and I am already beyond the word busy. Yesterday I took some time just for myself and it was nice. Wesley and I slept in, which we never ever do. I know we should have been at church, but I really needed some rest. I was in and out of bed until around 3:00 p.m. I finally got up and decided to go visit my Uncle Tim's father at the hospital. I was just about to leave when my cousin called and said that they had released "Grandaddy" from the hospital with Covenant Hospice and they were back at home. I was releaved at this, because I HATE hospitals. When I got over to the Gilmore's house I met the unexpected. I have known that Grandaddy has been sick, but when I walked in the room in which his hospital bed was in, I saw something I never thought I would have to look at. This man, probably 6'5 or taller and always wearing a smile, was sitting on the bed with his grandsons's supporting him, frail, weak, gasping for breath and quiet confused. He knew me though and that surprised everyone. I gave him a hug and a kiss on the check and he smiled that smile that he used to always wear. I only stayed in the room with him for a little while. My emotions were getting the best of me and I knew that I had to be the strong one for the boys and for Grandaddy. Anyways, I want to make a long story short and ask you to please pray for Harold Gilmore in these last days of his life. Pray that he won't just give up this battle that he is fighting. He's a strong man, many have referred to him as the energizer bunny. He just keeps going on and going. Keep in mind he's 90 years old and until 5 months ago was doing everything on his own. Driving, cutting grass, building fences, tending to the farm, etc. I love this man as if he was my own Grandfather and man oh man will my family just be devestated when he goes on to be with our Lord. It will indeed be a happy day don't get me wrong. No more suffering and no more pain, but to us we won't have a Grandaddy Gilmore anymore.


Friday, August 19, 2005


I have been spending a lot of time this week thinking about what Pastor Don preached about this past Sunday. We visited Hiland Park Baptist Church in Panama City and the service was absolutely refreshing. We spent some time James 1:2-4 "Consider it pure joy my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and completer, not lacking anything." His entire point was what do we do with trouble? What do we let trouble do to us? He He gave some great points that I am trying to apply to my very own life at this very moment.

1. Trouble grows us, it helps us to become more mature in our walk with the Father.
2. Trouble refines us. It takes those pieces of our life that may be falling apart, and does it's very best to mend us back together.
3. Trouble disciplines us. Whether we like it or not we all need discipline in our lives. Sometime it does take us getting ourselves into trouble to realize that we are not in the Father's perfect will.
4. Trouble most importantly sustains us. We must continue to have a sustained relationship with the Lord. He does not desire for us to have an on and off again relationship with Him, but one that is consistent and never ending.

I have always wondered why the writer of James asks' us to consider our trials pure joy. We'll I think I finally understand. I know now that if I can find joy in my troubles and allow the trouble to grow me, to mature me, to refine me, to sustain me, in the end there will be joy that is unending. Indeed, trouble is something that most people hate to deal with. Trouble brings change. Trouble requires stronger faith than most of us want to give. Trouble requires ultimate faith in the Father. Trouble just all in all puts us through a lot of extra work.

Although, I have some trouble in my life at this point, I know that the Father is using it as a growing tool. His desire is not to harm me, but to bring me back on track with him. To make my path clearer so that I may be walking firmly in His ways.

Thursday, August 18, 2005

Saturday, August 13, 2005

Ain't No Cure for the Summer Time Blues!

Man, Oh Man! I'm about to be one busy woman. It's time for things to start rolling. My prayer has been that the Father would give me unending strength and endurance. On Monday at 8:00 a.m. classes start. After weeks of debating which classes I would be taking, I finally nailed them down on Thursday. I must say this semester is going to be very challenging, but also one that I will enjoy tremendously. 13 hours should not be too bad. The only thing I really do not like is that like the last two semesters Wesley and I will not be seeing much of one another on campus. I guess that is what happens when one is a music major and the other is a christian education major. We'll make do. He's got himself a pretty full load also. We'll both be spending time doing homework! I start taking classes at the dance studio ( ) on Monday,and teaching classes on Tuesday. I have one class of 10 babies 4-6 years old and a class of 2nd-5th graders. I should have ALOT of stories to share with you all. Don't let me sound like I am dreading the studio because besides my family and my ministry, dance is a major part of my life.

My prayer for this semester is that I would adhere to the task that the Father has placed before me. I have been called to run the race. The race is going to be difficult one, but I know that because of the strength that my Father has I can run harder that I have ever run before. I know that because the Father has assigned this race to me at this particular time in my life that I can accomplish anything. With alot of faith in the father and focus on the finish line, I can and will see this task completed faithfully!


Know that this semster I will be praying for you. I pray that

Thursday, July 21, 2005

All In a Days Work!

There are just not enough hours in the day. Of course I get up around 6 a.m. or so, head out at 7:15 a.m., go to school, run errands, work and return home at around 6:30 p.m. or later. Last night I thought I was going to just drive myself nuts. I was to the point of pulling my hair out. I had washed ALL (2 overflowing baskets) of the dirty clothes during the weekend and in the midst of my laziness I had not folded any of them. The overflowing baskets in my bedroom were in the way and making our room look like a disaster. I had to get rid of them. When I finally finished folding clothes an hour later and putting them away, I ended up ironing Wesley's khaki pants and dress shirts, refolding all the clothes in the drawers, cleaning up the closet and rearranging the bedroom a little bit. By this time it was 10:00 and I was wooped. I never got around to haning up the other clothes, vacuuming and dusting the bedroom, cleaning our bathroom, or doing the dishes. I really felt unproductive when I sat back and observed what I had accomplished. It seems like there is just so much to do and not enough time to do it in. My friend Amy and I were talking yesterday about how when you get married time is cut practically in half, and I totally agree with her. I want to be a good wife, but if that means getting all of these things done, well I'm falling short. I must admit though, my husband is the best. I can leave him a little "Honey-Do List" in the mornings before I leave, and you can beat when I get home in the evenings everything has been done. I desire to be like the Proverbs 31 woman, but heck at the rate I am going I can't keep up with her.

Running like a Crazy Woman-

Wednesday, July 20, 2005

She's My Best Friend

You see that cute little gal over in the picture in orange. That would be Lindsay Tidwell aka "Best Friend". The other gal in black is our very very very great friend Shea-Shea! I have been blessed with the most amazing best friend in the world. It's been rough for us this summer because of the distance between us. She's in Miami, Florida working with the Florida Baptist Convention doing childrens work and vbs's, and I am here in good ole Dothan,Alabama going to school (HI 212 with John Shaffett) and working at the bridal shoppe. We did not have the oppurtunity to say goodbye before she left for Miami because I was already in West Africa, and I think that has made this whole time harder for me. I get to talk to her atleast once a day, if I am lucky two, but that is just not good enough for me. I want her to come home NOW! BEST FRIEND COME HOME RIGHT NOW!AND I MEAN IT Last night at midnight, I just needed to talk to her about what God was doing in my life and the struggles I am facing so I picked up the phone and gave her a ring. Although it was 1 a.m. her time, despite the fact that she was already asleep, we ended up talking for quiet some time. Come to find out God is really working in both of our lives in alot of the same area's, which absolutely blesses me. It helps me to know that I am not going through things alone. Who better to go through things with than your very best friend. My biggest problem right now is my need to be in control over every situation I am faced with. I want to fix everything myself, I want to take care of every detail myself, I want everything done right the first time, I just want it done my way and no other. I posted yesterday about the situations that are currently at hand, as I explained them each to Best Friend last night and her response to each was, "You've got to give up your control and allow the Lord to take care of it." Alright, I get it. As hard as I may try, I am not going to get my way, and I can not do it all on my own. I know I should remembemeber Phillipians 4:13 "I can do all things THRU CHRIST who gives me strength." Thats right WITH Christ, not just Megan alone. It amazes me that Best Friend can be so straight forward with me and believe it or not I do not get mad. If any other person were as blunt as Best Friend, my fist and their face would have a serious meeting and the outcome would not be a good one. She and I are different in so many ways, but in the same sense we see in one another the other. I'm just an ordinary gal from Dothan, Alabama and she's just an ordinary gal from Panama City, Florida who in the beginning didn't care for each other and in the end ended up being best friend. Did I mention I married the guy she was at one time crushin on? It's all good though. I am tremendously blessed by my best friend in so many ways. I count it a privelege that she calls me friend also. The realness she brings into my life is amazing, there is nothing within her that she has to hide from anyone. The joy that she has is so contagious (if you catch her on the right day).Her desire to fall more in love with the Lord grows stronger and stronger every day, and that encourages me more than she can ever imagine. All in all...I could not ask for more. I love you Best Friend!

Holla Back-

Tuesday, July 19, 2005

What Am I Suppose to Do?

It's been a few days since I last posted, but life has been rather hectic. Everything seems to all go down at one time. It just seems like recently if it is not one thing then it is another.
I'm beginning to be a little frustrated with it all. I can only do so much. How am I suppose to do it all?

1. My grandfather is in the nursing home almost an hour and 1/2 away and is not doing well at all. My parents informed me that he once again has "Red Man's Disease" which is a bacteria that covers your entire body making you look as if you have been burned. If the doctors can not get the infection under control it could spread to his vital organs which causes an awful outcome. This is the second time he has had it, but the doctors seem to be more worried this time. He dosent seem to think that he is going to have to stay at the nursing home once his rehab is over, but needless to say he is to the point that he cannot go home alone. He needs 24 hour care/assisted living. Legally, if we were to take him home in his condition we would be put in jail for neglect. What am I suppose to do to help him to deal with this drastic change in his life?
How do I deal with a grumpy old man who is set in his ways?

2. My dad's baby sister is going through the worst divorce one could ever imagine. Needless to say, my heart is broken for her and for her 10 year old daughter Taylor. They are going thru what I would call pure Haiti''s. I would never wish it on anyone. What am I suppose to do to help a family that is being broken apart with this change in their lives? What am I suppose to say to those that I love?

3. Wesley's dad is facing several health problems. Reflux, his eyes (possible glucomea), and major sinues problems. What do I do to help him in his physical illnesses when I am a hundred or more miles away?

4. Wesley resigned from Hillcrest Baptist Church on Sunday. What do I do to encourage him in his Faith? How do I show him that I support/back his decision? How can I assure him that the Lord will open other doors of ministry?

5.To add just one more thing to my plate, my dad is in the planning stages for Gastric Bypass Surgery. Being a critical heart patient, this is a surgery that will either kill him or help him. We won't know either until the surgery has been done. My main concern and the doctor's is wether is heart is strong enough for the surgery. To make matters worse, my dad has NO idea that I know he is planning to have the surgery. It is suppose to be a secret b/w he and my mother. What am I suppose to do and say? Do I give my imput or do I keep my mouth shut?

Enough's been a rough few days. Please be in prayer with me concerning each of the situations.


Tuesday, July 12, 2005

Children's Minsitry

Man, oh man. My heart continues to break for the little children in Dieabougou, West Africa. During our stay there, I discovered that the love that I have for children is much deeper than I ever imagined. The children are so content with their surroundings and the things that they have, and that truly was a blessing to my heart. Yes, my heart breaks for them because indeed they have far less than the children in America, but in the same sense my heart rejoices because the only things they need are each other and Jesus. In the photo here you see Jonathan Coggins with two the sweetest Dagara children (they were brothers). From the first day in the village these children stole my heart. There was something different about them that seemed to bother the others, but I guess that something made me long to love them even more. They were extremely hyper. They had more energy than most children do. I even asked Nathan if Ritalin was available in Africa. He just laughed. On the second day in the village the little one in the middle finally came to me and it happened. We were attatched. I was his new best friend. He stayed close by my side during the lesson on the Good Samaratin, then he ran off with Jonathan and Nathan to play with the children while I along with Jess and Ernie stayed behind to teach the women. Lynn instructed us to walk back to the church where the guys were teaching once we had wrapped things up and catch a ride with them back to the house because she had several runs to make to drop women off. In our track they rode right past us and waved, so needless to say we were left behind. Lynn came back and we told her to go ahead and make the other runs, we would start walking towards the other villages that way she would not have to drive so far. In all of this confusion and in our long walk, this little boy followed along. We each took turns holding his hand (he held on tight too), he sang, he rode on Nathan's back (Nathan said "I hope this one is potty trained!),and the best part of it all I gave him COLD water to drink and he loved it. I wish you all could hear him smacking his little lips together as he drank. It is a sound I will never forget. Needless to say he had followed us about 3 miles up the road, so we had to take him back to his home village. I told the ladies later that night, that I believed the Lord sent that little one into my life to be my teacher. My faith had been dry, I was weary of where the Lord was going to use me in ministry and I was to the point of just quitting all together. It was that little one who taught me to love the little children and allowed the Lord to speak through him in calling me to Children's Ministry/Missions. Dosent the saying go "God uses the smallest things to do the largest things in our lives." I'm outta here! Meg

Who's Battle is this Anyways?

Well..once again it feels as though I am fighting a battle that I myself can not win. Yes, I have battles of my own, but the battle I feel that I am fighting the most is one that actually belongs to Wesley. It's a very long drawn out story, but to keep it short its the church we are serving in. What is one suppose to do when the pastor has the need for control over ever staff memeber in the church? Wesley is currently the minster of music. His job description includes planning worship, leading worship and directing the choirs. Well it seems that the pastor finds it necessary to plan the services himself, assign specials and even try to lead along side of Wesley during the worship services. I was so annoyed on Sunday about the whole situation that I actually could not tell you what the pastor preached on. It was something about "I Want that Mountain." What made the whole situation even worse this past Sunday was; Hurrican Dennis was making its way toward land, there was mandatory evacuations from all mobile homes (which we live in), roads were being closed and it was raining rather hard and the winds we rather fierce but....WE STILL HAD CHURCH when most everyone else cancelled. All in all, I am outright perturbed with the entire situation. I do realize that this does not in the context involve me at all, but in reality I believe that it does. At one point, I was married to a man who's main desire was to serve the Lord, but now that same man has grown weary and weak in that desire. I told him in the midst of the storm this Sunday that I truly believe that the Lord had me take "Change and Conflict Management" last semester for a reason. Dr. Coggins said over and over again, it is the older generation who do not like to change, and it is those same individuals who will say "thats not the way we used to do it." I just want someone to help me understand why old people have to be so set in their traditions and their ways. How can we help them to swing out on a new limb? Ok, I am done fussin now. I think you all get my point.I don't like to fuss and complain, but I do desire to see my husband strong in his ministry and also to serve along side of my husband as he ministers. I know that I can not serve along side him with bitterness in my heart, and also frustration towards the church and towards the pastor himself. When we were in Africa we taught on becoming a Prov. 31 woman. God instantly put a desire within my heart to strive in every area of my life to become more and more like her, but since I have been home I have found it more and more of a struggle. To hear the African women talk about the ways in which they strive on a daily bases to become a woman of excellence broke my heart. The suffering and persecution that one must face in order to serve the Lord is astonding, but yet they seem to find aways to serve the Lord wholeheartedly despite their daily struggles.They never complain when they have to walk 4-10 miles to church. They never complain when they have to sit outside under a shade tree in the heat during bible study. They never complain when their children cry,need to be fed, or need their clothes changed. They never complain when they have to stop visiting with their peers to prepare a meal (which many go without) for their husbands and families. They never complain when they have to sleep in the dirt. Why can't I do that. I made excuses daily as to why I can't spend time with Lord. I make excuses daily for my attitude. I make excuses daily for my thoughts and my actions. I make excuses daily as to why I can't do this or I can't do that.And now I say without reservation, that all the excuses are not neccessary. Now, in the quietness of my home, I realize that the reason I am failing in my goal of becoming a woman of excellence is my attitude. Not only my attitude towards my relationship with the Lord, but my attitude towards life in general. I believe that if I would quit making excuses and just do it, the possibility of making a complete turn around may be possible. I'm shutting up now. Since I've gotten all that off of my chest I reckon I can go to bed now. Please continue to pray for Wesley and the situation at the church where he serves and for the direction he should take. BeBlessed!

Monday, May 02, 2005

Self Sacrifice

I always say that journaling isn't the easiest thing for me to do. Lately i've slacked off on doing so and well needless to say I am feeling really convicted about my laziness. I am preparing to go to Burkina Faso West, Africa in less than one month now and at this point I don't think I am spiritually ready to fight the fight. I know that I must prepare myself physically, mentally but most importantly spiritually. There is a fog of spiritual warfare drowing the Daggari people that I, and the other team memebers must be preapred to go up against. I think my problem is I continue to put other things first. In all of my spare time (which isn't much) I think of all the other things I should be doing rather than sitting in the stillness writing down what is on my heart. Don't get me wrong, I spend much time with the Father on a daily basis, I am just failing to write down my thoughts, feelings and the things I am learning. What do I need from the Father, self-discipline and time management. Am I all alone on this one?