Friday, September 30, 2005

Where has this week gone?

its seems to have just occured to me that i have not posted in quiet sometime. i have been oh so busy this week with school work and work. mid-terms start next week so i've been extra diligent this week to be sure that i've gotten everything possible done that could be on one of the exams. last semester was a rough one so i've been doing everything that i can possibly do to insure that i have straight a's at the end of this semester. my gpa needs a good kick in the butt.

alot has gone on this week that has really made me realize that my life as a married woman is fixing to start all falling into place. within the next few months, all of our debt will be payed off, except both of our school loans. wesley will be taking a new job hopefully around christmas time or shortly after. this has been a decision that has required alot of effort on both of our parts, prayer, deep desire to grow in our marriage. and just a peace within both of our hearts taht comes from the Father that surpasses all understanding. i promise, as i said before you guys will be the first to know after we've told our families.

man, i've got baby fever so bad. wesley says NO right now, and i know that he is right. it is just not the right time for either of us. i guess my clock is just ticking, but too bad. it will just have to keep on ticking.tick, tick, tick, i'm waiting! we actually have been discussing baby names though. i had first said that i wanted the girl name lanee elizabeth, but my cousin who is expecting in march informed me that she wants to name her little boy michael "lane". so i threw that idea out the door and now i am content with mckenlee elizabeth, and she will go by "kenlee". wesley said that he liked it but we'll see. heck, you never know when the time comes the name may not even be close.

work has been very busy. it's homecoming and pageant time already! some girls today sure are hoochie mama's. you outta see some of the things that their mama's let them wear. my daddy would have never let me out of the house, more less even purchase something such as what the gals today are purchasing. it beats all you've ever seen.

thats all for now, outta here!

Friday, September 23, 2005

Girls Just Wanna Have Fun!

i needed last night so much. after a long day of school and work i headed over to the roomies house for some good girl time. We're trying to make a habit of having girl night more frequently. we all need it! needless to say, we watched the ultimate chick flick "Dirty Dancing." As always, it was great! Amy Brown makes me laugh so hard, she knows the entire movie word for word. That girl done went and lost her mind. It was only the 4 of us last night, but we don't have to have 30 people to have a good time. Best Friend snorted time after time last night, and that kept me laughing all night. It sure was good to hear her laugh for a change. I love it when she's happy! Running out of words....Meg

Thursday, September 22, 2005

Say one thing, Do another! WHATS THE PROBLEM

recently, i vented my frustrations as to how it drives me crazy when people say one thing and do the exact oppisite. well needless to say, once again I am frustrated. last time i was only a bit frustrated, today I am just out right pissed off. people continually say that they want to be found in the image of Christ, they want to live, they want to learn, they want every single aspect of their lives to glorify the Father. well, personally...if you say your going to do it, dang it just do it. i don't even know why this upsets me the way that it does. i guess its because of comments that my dad, who is an unbeleiver, made only a week ago when were were talking. by no means am I perfect, but most of the time i am who i am. i don't try to be something that i am not. i want people to see the same ole megan everytime they come into contact with me. yes, we all NEED to change occasionally, but not every dang day. We all want to fit in, we all want to do what is "right", but listen here buddy, fitting in and doing what is "right" is not always best. my point is get it together and figure out who you are, decide what morals you are going to live by and live by them, say what you want to be heard, but don't change your thoughts later. There are people out there, like my dad for instance who is watching us beleivers, just waiting for us to mess up. Man, do you want the way you present yourself to unbelievers to completely turn them away from Christ. HECK NO! I know I do not. I want my daddy to find delight in other believers and desire to live as one......does this make ANY sense?


Monday, September 19, 2005

Not Even Myself....

alot of things have been going on these days. i can't say that they've all been good things, but heck those that have been difficult to accept will be for the better in the long run. wesley and i will be making several choices within the next few weeks that will be changing our lives forever. once we've let our families know, and everything is finalized you readers will be the first to know. why, because if you're reading this you must be interested in whats going on in my life, or atleast i hope that is the case. no we are not getting divorced or having a baby.

the weekend was just not good for me. friday night was alright. once again we hung out at my aunt and uncles house just like we do every friday. saturday i worked all day. i was in a bad mood when i woke up and was in an extremeley bad mood when i went to bed. it seems like when one thing goes wrong the cycle goes on and on and my mood continues to get worse. first my job just gets the best of me sometimes. i often want to scream when i walk out of the front door. secondly, my mom and I got into a nasty argument when I got home from work, I cried and she yelled and that just made my mood worse. i had to apologize to wesley on sunday morning for being so grumpy. he of cource accepted and said he loves me even if i am mean sometimes. this is the thing though, i should have been happy on saturday. auburn beat ball state's butt's and the gators did a mighty fine job beating up yennessee. dinner was my favorite foods, pizza from papa johns and wesley made hott wings just for me. oh well..its over now!

So, lets just pray that God is going to open some new doors of oppurtunity for me shortly. I hate change, but things are just getting old and for once in my life I will say it is time for a change. I might even like this change, but we will just see where the Father leads me.

i don't have anything else to say. More news in the next few days about the rest of our lives!


Wednesday, September 14, 2005

It Is Stirring Within My Heart......Again

I am tired today. I should have allowed myself to stay in bed and catch up, but I didn't. I was already awake and decided I should save my absences for another day.Heck, I may need them towards the end of the semester when I am even more tired and passed the going point. It was so hard to make myself get up with LinsMari and Best Friend still warm and cozy in their beds, I just wanted to scream at them ITS NOT FAIR. After getting up, I decided that I wouldn't even be a bum today and actually took the time to pick out cute clothes, fix my hair and put on some make-up. Wesley will be proud of me!

Anyways, on to the more important things. Last night I attended the International Mission Board's Appointment Service. 86 missionaries, were appointed to places all around the Globe. Hearing their personal calls to mission was so refreshing to my heart. It just rekindles my passion for missions all over again. I am secure in my calling and thanks be to God that he reaffirms it within me so very often. If you ever have an oppurtunity to attend an appointment service I highly recommened it. It was a once in a lifetime expereince.

Dr. Rankin asked the question at the close of his challange to the appointee's and to those present within the congregation; "Do you feel as if God is stirring up a call to full time service within your heart and there is just something holding you back?" Well, I had to answer yes! I've thought about that question an awful lot since I have been home from West Africa. Like I said, I know that the Father is leading me towards a missions career, but my only hold back is the fact that Wesley does not have that same guidance, at this time. I can work on the mission field here stateside, but my hearts cry is not for the USA but for those who are among a people group who have never heard the name of Jesus ever proclamied, one of those people groups that are represented by a black flag.

I know one thing, I can not make Wesley have a call to missions, that is something that must be done through the work of the Holy Spirit within his life, but I can pray that the Father would place that calling/leading on his heart and that in obedience Wesley would faithfully accept that call. I believe highly in wishful thinking! I pray firmly for God's intervention in both of our lives and give us both leadership/direction as to what his desire is for our future in the ministry. It would be great if after we both graduate from BCF that we could be directly appointed to the field, but right now that does not look like a possibility unless the Father works on Wesley's heart alot between now and then. Pryerfully I seek that the Father would first allow both of our ministries to be his, then through his guidance give us a ministry to oversee together!

Please, don't let me sound selfish, this is not all about me. Yes, Wesley is called to full time ministry, but he is Mr. Music Man, not Mr. Mission Man! I love that he pushes my desire and allows me to be involved in missions as often as possible, but after two trips abroad without him , I am to the point that I want him to have that same desire so that we can go and minister together on the field.

Enough is enough...I'll give ya more lata!


Thursday, September 08, 2005

What's Wrong With You?

Do you ever get tired of people asking the question "What is wrong with you?" I know I do. Here lately (the last 2 weeks) I have been asked this question repeatedly by my best friend, other friends, my parents, and my co-workers. I am the way I am because that is the way that I want to be. Alright, lets get a few things out in the open before things get out of control.....
*No, I am not sad or depressed, just tired and worn out.
*No, I am not mad at you. QUIT asking. If I was mad at you, trust me, you would definately know. I don't hide my madness very well.
*No, I am not sick. I feel WONDERFUL!
*Yes, I am HIGLY frustrated. I do not know what else to say or do, I can't seem to say or do enough to keep people happy. When I do talk, people do not listen. I feel as if I am talking straight up to a freakin' concret wall. They ask for my advice or opinon, I give it, and then they take me as being heartless and uninterested. It's not that I don't care, I just don't feel like listening to you whine. I'm not going to give you a pitty party over some screw up you've gotten your own self into. STOP ACTING LIKE A 2 YEAR OLD AND GROW THE HECK UP. They say they are going to do one thing and do exactly what they say there were not going to do. They know they are making the wrong decisions, but yet they are unaffected by the circumstances at hand. {*NOTE* I am not referring to any one particular person.}
*Yes I am aggrevated. Why? PLEASE...don't even get me started. We'd be here all day.

Indeed, I needed to vent some today. I have been holding my frustrations in for a couple of days, and I decided that it would be best for me to vent to you. It would be bad if I got started on someone in person. (I have a great husband, I'd never take it out on him) My fist and their face may just have to have a meeting. I'd hate to hurt someone when I punched them with all of my might. If you just want me to, then bring it!

I will be leaving tommorrow morning after my BF103 class to head to see the in-laws for the weekend in Gainesville. Wesley's uncle passed away so it's not like we'll be having a big party or something. I don't think funerals and hours in the car are on the top of my favorite thing to do list. I HATE THEM BOTH. Hopefully neither will be to bad.

Alright, I am out before someone gets the wrong impression of me and get the idea that I am the biggest bwitch around.


Tuesday, September 06, 2005

Peace and Quiet....I Need Some!

Last week was so hectic. With the hurricane happening and the unsureness of the condition of their home (no water, no power), my aunt and cousin are still here. There have been people in and out of our house constantly the past 8 days. My aunt has made my parents home a drop of point for supplies that will be taken to Mandeville, LA this coming up Friday. There will be a 27 foot trailor leaving from Ashford, AL on Friday morning at 12:00 a.m. packed full. Don't let me sound as if I am complaining about people come to drop things off because I am not. It truly is a joy to my heart to see that there is a desire to help those individuals affected by Katrina. It is indeed a blessing to see the outpouring of kindness from the people from the Wiregrass Area. My mom and I were talking yesterday in the afternoon about why so many people from this area just give, give, give. They give so unselfishly. They do everything possible to see that people in need have everything possible. We came to the conclusion that it's partly a southern thing.

The only thing I can complain about it my nerves are quite frazzeled and I am in need some just some peace and quiet. I'm to the point of just being a plain out meany butt to everyone. I guess there is one advantage I have in being married now, when the noise does get out of control I can just leave and go home. PRAISE THE LORD!

Other than Katrina and the devestation, things have been alright. As usual I spent last week in classes and working. Thursday night me and the two roomies (Best Friend and Lins) just had some good ole girl time. It was great. We had some Mexican and then spent the rest of the evening just doing what girls do best, running their mouths. Next time we have some girl time, Amy and Heidi are definately going to have to show! Friday night me and my daddy went and hung out with the Gilmore's over at the shop. We have some good times out there. No wonder we go back every weekend! Saturday night, well but things kinda got turned around. I was suppose to chill with Lins, but her weekend had an unexpected turn around But heck, thats girl done went and made friends with my neighbor from math class! Oh Yeah, by the way, I wish you the best of luck girl. Take things slow and don't get overwhelmed and you know that things will be fantastic. I'm praying for you. Oh and another thing I must say to you, about our conversation on Thursday night....I DO ADMIRE YOU! I wish I could say I had done the same.

We'll I am going to peace out. I do not really have alot to say today. Nothing new and exciting going on yet. It's only Tuesday.

I will ask you to pray for Wesley, we should be recieving a call within the next few days as to whether or not Chalkhead Baptist Church in Ozark is going to extened the call to him to come as Minister of Music and Education.

Holla Back!